MY DAD was always one who had a saying for everything, be it good or bad, but mostly when negative things were whizzing around in your life. A couple of his favourites were ‘nothing worth having comes easy’ and when you were expecting something good to be coming your way, ‘don’t count your chickens before they hatch’! My Dad was the eternal philosopher, verging on the pessimist, who had been brought up in the war and had been subjected to a very hard life. His father had been a coal man and was so soft with his customers, collecting payments, that he ended up going out of business. My Dad was one of four boys and his father ruled the house with a rather large and well used rod of iron. His father had suffered some injury to his hip and walked with a limp, which was quite painful at times and this caused him to have a very bad temper. My Dad was therefore quite strict with me and he often said to me, when I felt the task in front of me was too huge and almost impossible to achieve, ‘there is no such word as can’t’. Other favorites he would bestow on me when I was walking around the house with a long face, after those chickens hadn’t hatched after all were, ‘when one door closes, another one opens’ or ‘everything happens for a reason’ and ‘every cloud has a silver lining’. I must admit that as a teenager these sayings did not really help me a lot. And, looking back to when my children were teenagers, I don’t think they would have helped them much either. I would have sucessfully wound them up as they say nowadays.
My Dad is dead now and he died before I got the diagnosis of COPD/Emphysema/Chronic Asthma and I was sat wondering today what saying my dad would have fixed to this illogical illness and my life now. He was a great fan of Star Trek and would have associated my fate with that of Leonard Nimoy I am sure of that. I am sure also he would have thought of something, two favourites come to mind, ‘you’re never given more than you can manage’ and ‘there’s always someone worse off than you’. I certainly do not feel like that when I am in the midst of one of those horrible exacerbations that a lot of you are familiar with, maybe some of you have heard about and some of you perhaps have seen a family member or close friend struggle with. It’s not a very pleasant experience feeling like you are suffocating to death and there is very little that can be done, except taking antibiotics and/or steroids, its just a waiting game really, waiting for the symptoms to subside. It’s annoying really because they come on so suddenly and yet seem to take forever to go, another saying comes to mind, ‘patience is a virtue that very few possess’ and ‘you have to take the rough with the smooth’. Oh yes, he had a saying for everything, my Dad!
Today I have been in an excitable and then reflective mood because I have received my appointment for my consultation at the Royal Brompton Hospital with Dr Samuel Kemp. They are at the top of the tree in alternative ways to help people with COPD and the most experienced in the UK in using the endobronchial valves. It’s a long way to go at 190 miles away but if they can help it will definitely be worth it. How life can change it was only a few weeks ago I was sat crying feeling hopeless because the consultant at Jimmy’s wasn’t on the same page as me. He wanted me to get worse before he helped, they were probably running out of funds! Another great saying my Dad would have definitely used tonight and that would be ‘when one door closes another one opens’ , yes Dad, I can still hear you!
I have learnt a lot of things during my journey up to today and that is your health is your responsibility it is up to you to question and find alternative paths to go down.Well what is that saying ‘if you want something doing do it yourself’ and I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today if it hadn’t been for the wise teachings of my Dad giving me the ability to stand on my own two feet and question everything. I am now trying to be optimistic that these doctors will be able to help remove the trapped air from my lungs so that I can breath better than I am doing at the moment, I will then have a better quality of life, I hope!
However. my 27 year old daughter has been throwing about the sayings these past weeks. Because, she said, I don’t want you to get disappointed if you can’t have the valves done. HELP! she’s turning into her Grandad!! But, I suppose that’s not a bad thing, he was a wonderful Father even though he was the worst pessimist going.
Lets give a thought to the people in our life that have done so much for us, our parents, family and friends –
For more on this story see Falling off the precipice – and my appointment at the Royal Brompton